He set my heart on fire of hate!!

Sigh...
Nth was goin smooth this year...
And this is my 1st person that officially i expressed that i hate this person...
Who does he think he is??
He's nothing to me but a medicine vendor of a night market!!!
Shouting like hell and so desiring for response..
U need not to confirm that
Who the hell u think you are dealing with??
I pay you to gain knowledge..
Not to buy surprise from you!!!
And who do you think that you qualify to shout in class and make a comment
"These ppl if you dont show your "call-lie" they wont be afraid with you one"
Who do you mean by "these ppl"??
You are not a human??
Or do you think that you are to saint for us??
Celaka!!
You are damn lucky that i did not record it...
If not i'll definetly logde an official report!!
What kind of attitude are they having nowadays??
Sigh!!!
I officially announce that, I, will not enter your class, until u leave.
What do i pay a damn to??
I still have my tutor..
Much more better that you in terms of thousand times at least...
I HATE YOU!!!

Motivations

"Pls don't make your career in your life
let it be your passion
let it bring pleasure
but don't let it become your identity
you are so much more valuable than that..."

Quoted from an interview of celine dion in oprah magazine..

How to spot a blogger?

How to spot a blogger?

(NB: These tips are not supported by any evidence and are meant to be humorous asides. However, I believe that there is some observational truth to them.)

1) Cameras: We bloggers are ever ready with our cameras, whether it's over dinner, a day trip to Seremban, at work, on holiday at some exotic destination or even a simple trip to the loo. Most bloggers own a camera and we tend to snap at everything we come across, be it that cute kitten by the roadside or a misleading road sign or two. Anything that inspires is worth a shot.

2) Inquisitive: We want to be know-it-alls. We are always full of questions and we want our answers in full detail, if you please. How else would you expect us to blog about something if we didn't know much about it, especially if it's something exotic like foreign cuisine or a place we've never been to. With this in mind, don’t fret if a bunch of people descend on a restaurant, questioning everything in sight and pestering the waiters. They're more likely to be bloggers than harsh food critics.

3) Internet addiction: For most of us, the Internet is like a fifth limb. Take away my Internet connection and you might as well take away my life. Few bloggers can survive for long without the wonders of the World Wide Web, especially full-time bloggers like myself. We seem to have an urge to log on every two hours and we consider wi-fi to be the most amazing technology in the world.

4) Different priorities: We talk about comments and traffic as if that's all we care about. It's a habit and I'm sure most bloggers you asked would say that the first thing they do after logging on would be to check for incoming comments and finding out the traffic. It's almost as essential as coffee and it becomes a routine, like reading the newspapers in the morning. In fact, many of us would feel uncomfortable if we did not do this during our morning rituals.

5) A sense of unity: Bloggers unite! I'm pretty sure that most bloggers have attended at least one blog-related event, no matter how anti-social they are. If you don't believe me, just ask around.

Of course, in some cases, it's easy to recognise a blogger without having to resort to the guide. After all, take Kenny Sia of kennysia.com. Just entering blogosphere would be enough to find out about him and his adventures in the wide world of blogging. If you own a blog and have never heard of him, well, you have now!

(Adopted from,

A field guide to the blogging world

BLOGGED OUT
By NICOLE TAN

Saturday July 26, 2008)

内训卷一言行章

《李氏女戒》曰:

藏心为情，

出口为语。

言语者，荣辱之枢机，亲疏之大节也。亦能离坚合异，结怨兴仇，

大则覆国亡家，小则六亲离散。

是以贤女谨口，恐招耻谤，或在尊前，或居闲处，

未尝触应答之语，他人话，傍边接声，发謟谀之言，

不出无稽之词，不为调戏之事，不涉秽浊，不处嫌疑。

白话文：

李氏女戒中说到，
怀抱在心中的感觉就是情，
从嘴里说出来的就是话。

话从口中出，
可以引来荣华或羞辱，
这只是其中的一小部分，
能让人亲近或疏远，
因此必须谨言慎行，
切记在心。。。

When a secret is not a secret anymore...

Actually, it's not a bad thing after all...
You have less thing to be worried about...
People start to know about u....

So..
Need not to feel sorry about that...
As i said to u,
It will be fine after a sleep as A new day will come after that....

Mask

I'm tired sometimes...
I just wanna be myself..
But i've to wear a mask in my daily life...
To hide myself...
To hide my true feelings ...
As i heard someone said b4...
"他为了不再让自己受到伤害，就自己的心房锁起来。再也很少打开来了。。”
To prevent himself from being hurt again, he lock his heart up and never open it up again..

“身为艺人，不能把自己的情绪与感觉表露在你脸上。。”
As a performer, you are not allowed to let your emotions and feelings being expressed..

Uni?

Since i've been to uni, I've found out that i changed a lot...
I seldom tried to believed in others...
As i've gone trough some incidents...
This might what people called the process of mature,
but it made me keep it all to myself...
I seldom talk bout what i think, what i feel and what i wanna to do....

I felt like i'm becoming more enjoying to be isolated...
In other terms, autism or what chinese said 自闭症..

I've tried to overcome this problem, by trying to mix around with people..
But i realized i really cant tell my problems out..
I dun have the courage....
As i believed, from the past incidents,
It'll just being pass on from one to another...
At an instantaneous rate that you can't really believe in it...
So i prefer to crap or just to stay silent...

For example, the url of this blog..


I just dont understand why these things kept happening to me..
I should try to overcome these..
But i hope that i could...

The Mines

Some places brings you sweet memories, some places brings you sad memories...
Sweet memories makes you feel happy and sweet...
Sad memories makes you feel like reviewing it but at the same time you are trying to escape from it..

I still remembered when i was still a kid, approximately about elementary school, me and my family went there for a trip...
I still remembered how warmed when my parents held my little tiny palm into theirs..
It was one of the most wonderful feeling that i ever had...
I bet they must been having the same feel that i felt...

I was how a few years back,
when i join them for a family trip...

When i look back at those places that i and my family went before,
It makes me feel bad..
It reminds me of those wonderful feelings....
It makes me think of my parents...
What do they think??
Will the once little tiny palms that they used to hold will be held again??
How many more years (in terms of 10 year and above) that i still can hold their hand??
When i think about it, it makes me feel really really bad...
I really feel like crying sometimes..
For being a disobeying children...

People may not feel what i think,
as their parents are still so young..
But not in my case....
They are old...
I must now try to grab as many chances as possible to grab their hand...
So that i wont regret when i come to a point of my life where i have to face something....
I hope, and insisted that the day where i have to face this stage of my life wont be coming...

I love you, my parents, and my sisters....
Thank god for blessing me with such a great family...

Aih...

Feeling myself more and more useless....
2nd starbucks in a month ady...
But frankly speaking, Dark Mocha FXXxxxxxXxx was damn nice...
No no no...!!!!

I must have 自制能力！！
I must not transform myself into a bai kah zai!!!

Useless...

Sometimes at one point that i feel myself really useless...
I can't finish my lab ontime, leaving the discussion part and the conclusion part for the second time blank...
Can't even simply calculate a simple dielectric constant,
Can't even plot 2 graph....
Can't operate a apparatus nicely,

Can't finish my tutorial on time like Mr. DXXXXX did....
Can't understand what the lecturer said in class,

Can't get my scholarship interview like Mr. DXXXXX did...
Just because i lost 0.04 of my cgpa to him...
And kena perli by him summo....

**************************************************
D says:
aiya, i won't get one la
D says:
what are the chances?
D says:
all the ppl there keng keng one
D says:
sien
D says:
how to fight? they sure backstab me one
D says:
just like during JPA scholarship, semua tikam my belakang, sigh
D says:
think of it also boh mood
************************************************************
Who cares weather you get it or not??
If i'm able to get into the interview, i'll be proud of myself enough ady...

Summo my friend helped me to get such a post....
Look at my useless~ness....
I myself also dunno can handle anot...
Aih...

Useless me....
So frust...

Failure

Sometimes, i do really think that i'm useless...

I still remembered that my 1st job that i wanna to be is a doctor...
Saving people.... Wearing a white robe....

But...
I can see from my eyes of my parents...
Of how they wish me to be an Engineer...
I never wanted to disappoint my parents...
So...

Ok... Now i'm pursuing my studies as an engineer....
Then i found out that i am better and have more interest in lingual subjects...
I wish that i could be a translator...

Better than stoning in class now..
Blah blah convergent divergent, blah blah Kirchoff, blah blah p-n, blah blah printf scanf...

i hope that i could quickly finish my course..
and do what i am suppose to be interested in...
Become an engineer but at the same time doin part time as a translator..
The only solution that i can sort out, to satisfy me and my parents....

浮萍落花，颠沛流离，
山盟海誓，力竭筋疲，
笑饮砒霜，魄散魂离，
爱有尽时，恨无绝期，

天荒地老，最好忘记，
笑也轻微，痛也轻微，
生老病死，相聚分离，
身不由己，心不由己。

They are leaving...

I heard that both of my two friends leaving M'sia to US by this end of this year...
It was like such a shocking new that they are leaving...
They were one of the few to comfort me when i needed to...
Lend me a shoulder when i cry...
Laugh together with me for no reason sometimes...
Play in sea together...
Sometimes just go for a small meal....

Now they are leaving...
Leaving me behind alone...
No one to really share the every happiness and sadness of my life anymore..

I have to learn to be independent from now on...
To learn how to walk alone...
Learn how to deal alone...
To be sad and to be happy alone...

Bon Voyage to both of u...

Regretfulness

Just finish doin chores of my home ALONE!!!
LMAO.... a person who never do these work did it...
Doin those chores made me think of my parents...
A prince who never do these....

Whereas my parents took over these jobs while i was in hometown last time...
The slightest.. Even washing my clotes to washing my plate..
I never do those job at alll... LMAO...

Sigh... I start to regret for not helping my parents to do the chores whereas me doin it here....
I have to turn a new leave...

I must try to do some chores to help them...
To reduce their job....

I try to promise to myself...

02/07/2008

1) In computer lab, was doin a knoppix programming thing. Then suddenly the lecturer call me and i answer YES!! But guess what?? Actually he was making an example from my name... So men-siah sue- kan...=_=""


JJ(Lecturer): ..... Ho Kent Loong.
Me: YES!!
JJ: ...Ho underscore Kent underscore Loong..
Me: =__=""

2) Went to AGM today.. There was an election for the HiCom. open nomination. But i didnt get any post.
Reasons for me for not nominating myself..
a) I don't feel that i qualify for being a high com. Although i have the experiences, but i still dun acknowledge myself.
b)I was hoping for someone to nominate me but tak de pun... No lah..Jz jk...Haha.. Manalah i got the upaya to bcome a high comm?? Muahaha...XD..

01/07/2008

today's event...

1) I said my tutor dunno how to teach. Due to my unpatient and eagerness to know the answer.
But at last he found the mistake n correct it. Sorry Mr Tan. I forgive ur mistake and hope u will forgive my sin.
2) CLS Night Market. Saw korean food...Yummy... I bought one kimchi for only RM3 (with RM 2 discount) Now ny i believe that there's justice in this world. That stupid copier lady makan my RM1. Now god kesian me and let me untung back RM1. Wahaha..So shuang..